Had a great weekend with my family. Provoked a lot of thought. My mom was visiting from Ohio and we spent some time with my aunt, uncle, and cousins in Orlando. All these beliefs I've been questioning in myself surfaced a lot during a conversation with my aunt and I'm really looking for some guidance from God here. I have always believed in Jesus, the holy trinity, but have had some question as to what is really behind the stories. Some believe in Jesus as their savior, others don't believe in him at all, and others believe in Him as a prophet similar to Buddha. I am truly finding myself confused on this issue. It is not a trivial issue that you can get wrong. Jesus is definately in my heart and I have believed in His story with every fiber of my being but one day something inside me stopped me in my tracks when I saw a sign talking about Jesus and started me thinking. Things started flashing through my head. Jesus pictures on the wall, crosses with Jesus suffering as He's dying, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light, Jesus...everywhere. These are all things that are wonderful and put smiles on the faces of Christians. The question in my heart became...What about God?
What about God? Ok, I know, supposedly they are supposed to be one but it is not portrayed that way. In the beginning of the Bible it is all about God...Then Jesus His son is born. Jesus talks and shares all about God and explains His love for us. Teaches us that that the greatest thing in life is love. So Christianity decides that it is now all about worshipping Jesus as our savior for dying so that we can be forgiven of our sins. I know that they include God as the holy trinity and God is a presence in the church but I am just having a hard time with the worship of a human. Yes, thee human Jesus the Christ child, but still a man. Shouldn't our hearts and thoughts and focus be more on God, the spirit that lives within us and breathes life into us? The energy that surrounds us, is in everything that lives, created us, and loves us unconditionally. Judge me if you want but this is my journey.
So as these thoughts are rolling around in my head and I'm looking for signs and guidance from God a friend tells me about the belief that Jesus was actually a profit and that the stories of him giving the blind eyes to see and the deaf ears to hear was him opening their eyes and ears to the love of God. Not a physical healing but a spiritual. The things that he told me made some sense. Jesus would be more interested in healing our spirits than our bodies as our bodies are just vessels and our souls are the eternal essence of our life. It also made sense to me in a way because of my belief that not any one religion has gotten it right but that all religions have some truth to them. Somewhat like the unity church that takes ideals from all religions and collaborates them with Christianity as the basis.
I am finding it all very confusing. So many people can just believe what they've been taught through the ages passed on from ancestor to ancestor but I just can't. I'm sure it is partly to do with my problem with the catholic church and the fact that they made the Bible the way they wanted to and have hidden certain parts of it from the public eye. If they could hide parts of it why wouldn't there be a possibility that they could have changed it to suit their needs of wanting to be the supreme religion. In the words that you repeat in church from the hymnals you must say I believe in the Holy Catholic Church and I refuse to say that because I don't. I just don't. In my mind I relate the Catholic Church to the government. They sway things to serve their purposes and seem to me to be all about money. I could go on and on about my issues with the Catholic church such as  the fact that they worship the virgin Mary, an idol that is not God, and have made up all these angels that I've never seen in my Bible, but thats another blog all together. Frankly I feel that there is too much attention taken from God and more attention put on the church and their many rules and traditions.
We're talking about God here people. God, the supreme being, the energy and love within us. We fight wars in His name when He is of peace and love. How does that make any sense? How do we not question these things? Having faith is one thing but being stupid and ignorant is quite another. Its only through knowledge and our conversations with God that we can find the true answers.
So even after talking this out I am still confused on this issue of Jesus. I have great love for Jesus and see Him as an amazing being that opened so many eyes to God's love and His message continues to do so. My question still remains...is it right to put Him on such a high pedestal when our true creator is God the Father of us all? Can we only get to "heaven" through our eternal belief in a man that is said to be the son of God born of the Virgin Mary? Is He the son of God or is He a man who through his travels to earth reached an enlightened state of being and taught us all what He could before being taken home to God? Wherever that might be. Many would call my questions blasphemy but to me I think it is more blasphemous to God not to question what we are taught by humans. Especially if this life is about growing and learning about God and doing His will. How can we do that without searching inside of us for His truth in our lives. For some ignorance is bliss, for me ignorance is torture...like ignoring and entire portion of my being. I will update more on this subject as things come to me and God answers my questions within my heart. I hope that anyone reading this will also question what they've been taught if it is in their heart to do so and that you will also look inside you to God for the answers that you seek. Only He will bring you to the truth.
Namaste